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CELTIC-L  April 1997

CELTIC-L April 1997

Subject:

Computers for Pubs Serious Research Proposal, FernstromNordenJonesHighetMacFlannchadh

From:

Pamela <[log in to unmask]>

Reply-To:

CELTIC-L - The Celtic Culture List.

Date:

Thu, 17 Apr 1997 16:37:41 -0700

Content-Type:

text/plain

Parts/Attachments:

Parts/Attachments

text/plain (154 lines)

Dear FernstromNordenJonesMacFlannchadh

and others who have commented on the worthy drunken paddy thread,

Do excuse the inordinate length of this post.  I felt it was necessary to
"recreate" the ingenious suggestions which led to my proposal (below):

Ken Ashe commented:
        Well, if we've got cybercafes out here, there's no reason you
shouldn't have cyberpubs back there. If Maqqi would front you the money to
start one up, he might even recoup his matching grant to the Eigg fund.

Mikael responded:
The concept of a "cyber-pub" sounds wrong. It's sort of difficult to
describe,
but a PC installed in a real Irish pub would probably have to be a 286
machine
with some old yuck spilt on it, or so.
In many rural pubs, for example the cigarette machines look like
something that would
sell in an antiquities fair.
We cannot have a plastic thingie at too many MegaHertz, it has to be
adapted to the
context of use and the environment ;-)

Martin wrote:
>>We're assuming it's running Lynx or some other text-only browser?
>>Or maybe the 1st version of Mosaic (much the same story).

Mikael suggests
It would be nice if it was peat-fired.

Dilion suggests
an "old hamster-driven wooden PC" including "the
>>Difference Engine with a monitor."

and further taunts:

> You know, here in San Francisco, although I can't get a REAL Pint, I
> *can* go to a pub with Internet terminals and berate you people with a
> pint in my hand.

to which Shea comments:>

Well, if you think it might improve things..........

Martin wrote:
>>Probably better with an Apple Newton or eMate - they're a HELL of
>>a lot more Guinness-proof.

Mikael adds:
Agreed! Or why not the Nokia 9000 Mobile phone/Web terminal...

Bruce suggests [to Dilionn]:
>I think your problem here might be the power source. Hamsters are a tad
>inefficient. I should think a cat would be much better.
>
>A cat, you see, always lands on it's feet, as everyone knows. Simply
>attach a slice of buttered bread onto his back - which everyone also
>knows always lands buttered-side down.

[pamela interjects to Bruce that "it's" is the contraction of "it is" and
the word he is looking for is correctly spelled "its"]
>
>Drop the dear kitty and the two effects will counteract each other in
>such a manner as to spin from cat-side to buttered-bread-side with a
>fairly high rate of rotation and neither will ever touch the ground.
>
>Toss some kind of pick-up near the tabby's tail and you'd have all the
>power you'd need. Perhaps enough to run a starship.

Pamela suggests:

Bruce, I maintain no dropped spinning buttered kitty running for two weeks
would produce the power of one partially-saddled horse which has glimpsed a
flapping dishtowel generates in about 30 seconds.  See suggestions in this
regard below.

Mikael Fernstrom  wrote:

> Shae,
>
> Somehow, we just have to get the web-site up'n runing for the Best Pints
> on the Planet.
> I have most of the html written.
> The problem is finding time for it.
> I'm either working here in the College or drinking Guinness with you.
> If only one of the local publicans would install Internet and a PC!
>
> /Mikael

Shae responds:

I guess you'll have to give up working in the College.

[pamela interjects:  "It wouldn't be the first college career that
association with MacFlannchadh has corrupted!"]

Mikael answers:
I guess that it could be a good idea....

Perhaps if we got all the Humble Netizens on Celtic-L to send us, let's
say
10 Irish Pounds per Netizen each per day - to keep the web-site up - we
could
actually give up our jobs and concentrate on to travel around Ireland
evaluating the
local pint and writing about it on the web!

[Guide Michelin - watch this!]

Mind you, we'll have to stay at least 24 hours in each pub - as the
morning
pint can be quite different to the evening pint.
We should also try to get someone to donate a good notebook PC + modem +
mobile phone, so that we can maintain the web-site while working the
pubs.


Mikael:  I submit to you that this proposal, and those which go before,
border on true genius.  I would also like to mention that *I* own a notebook
PC with modem which I plan to bring with me to Ireland next month.  It also
meets the requirement of being  old and spattered with food and drink.  And
while it is a bit faster than a 286 which you suggested above, the hard
drive *is* fragmented and *is* cluttered with sentimental correspondence
which causes it to chunk and grind with indigestion -- the perfect sound for
a pub crawl -- particularly in a country where you must speak the language
to find the appropriate downloading facility.

I plan to propose to my research committee, which has funded travel in the
US but not in Ireland, a cultural research project in the pubs in the heart
of Ireland.  Surely such a worthy project could not escape healthy funding.
Especially if the Netziens submit the cash you suggest to the research
project -- an amount which I am certain would be fully tax-deductible.

I further propose that an interested party in the US donate for temporary
use the mobile phone which would further this invaluable research.  If those
who are interested in donating to this research would contact me privately
about where to meet up prior to my departure fore Ireland, I will assemble
the hamster output specs as well as the buttered kitty design.  In the
meantime I will whip up some blueprints outlining the productivity of the
unsaddled dishclothed horse.  You, Mikael, might meanwhile put together some
figures regarding peat-firing a brew-spattered laptop PC.

Do let me know if you plan to participate in this proposal.  It would help
to know if a cool head will be involved with this venture, as after several
pints of research, I might find myself dancing on tabletops.

Sincerely,

Pamela
drinking a Pete's Wicked Winter Brew out of the bottle because that's all
there is at the moment

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