Although I am fairly new to the list, I have found the creation of the Clan
quite exciting, and as I have always longed for Scottish blood (heck, any
Celtic blood would do!!!), I humbly submit my application for admission into
the famous and feared Clan Ish.
As I have arrived on the scene a bit late, I see that all of the positions I
am qualified for have already been filled (bard, scribe, absurdist), so I
have been carefully taking inventory of other talents I might have so that
they could be put to use for the good of the Clan. And then it hit me....
there is no Clan Kilt Inspector (understandable, as it is a tricky and often
dangerous occupation)! No Clan would be complete without one, however, and
so I nominate myself to take on the responsibilities of this honorable, yet
oft-overlooked position. I am willing, if necessary, to conduct systemic
search and seizures to be sure that all Clan Kilts (and the accessories
beneath) are up to regulation standards. The much lauded Blue Ribbon will be
awarded to those who serve as outstanding examples to the rest of the Clan.
With the added modern technology of Ribbon-warming devices, they can proudly
be displayed, in situ, with comfort and style. The ancient mysteries of Kilt
Inspection can no longer remain in the shadows of history.... I am confident
that Clan Ish will be pro-active in the revival of this ancient art (and
science), lest their dreaded (here unnamed) enemies catch wind of my
intentions and try to recruit me - leaving the men of Clan Ish caught...
well...with their kilts up!
May the wind be at your backs, Laddies.... the line starts at the left.
Yours in Humble Service,