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Subject: Re: Need Help with Translating a French Poem
From: Tom Thomson <[log in to unmask]>
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Date:Thu, 5 May 2011 18:17:06 +0100
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Lachdann is the wrong meaning of bronze: it means the colour, whereas the French airain refers to the material;  Gaisgich umha is what I would use here.  Lachdann in fact would probably be a better translation of fauve than buidhe in the previous line, but liath-bhuidhe (not buidhe on its own) is also possible (I think of fauve as “tawny” in English).

Also, a’ghlòir is wrong, as the antecedent of a is plural, it needs to be an glòir.  And either stùradh or adhlachadh (or maybe marbh-phasgadh if you want “enshroud” rather than inter) would be a better fit than ceileadh for ensevelir.

An Dara Mìcheal
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From: Scottish Gaelic Language beginners forum [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Matthew Webb
Hello,

As an exercise to improve my command of Scots Gaelic, I have begun to translate a sonnet in French by Jose Maria de Heredia.

My goal is to translate accurately and in natural Scots Gaelic.  I am not trying to reproduce poetic effects or make the translation a poem, not at this stage in my study.  I welcome any constructive criticism.

G. Matthew Webb

The poem is L'Oubli

Here is the first quatrain in French, followed by an English translation by Donald Sidney-Fryer, and then my attempt in Scots Gaelic.

Le temple est en ruine au haut du promontoire.
Et la Mort a mêlé, dans ce fauve terrain,
Les Déesses de marbre et les Héros d'airain
Dont l'herbe solitaire ensevelit la gloire.
 
The temple stands in ruins atop the promontory.
Here Death has all mixed up, in this fawn-colored land,
The marble Goddesses and Heroes cast in bronze,
Whose high renown the solitary grass enshrouds. (DS-F)

Tha an teampall ann an tobhta air muin an rubha.
(Roghainn eile: Is ann an tobhta a tha an teampall air muin an rubha.)
Agus mheasgaich am Ba\s, ann an talamh bhuidhe seo, 
Na Ban-diathan ma\rlach/marmorach agus na Gaisgich  lachdann 
Agus tha am feur uaigneach a’ ceileadh a’ ghlo\ir.

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